A Wild Ride: Our Blog

We've posted Step Six in our Twelve Step Parenting Process:

I acknowledge that blame and guilt are unhealthy.

So here's a question for you: Is all guilt negative?

If your feelings of guilt have spurred you on to heroic actions in meeting your child's needs, that is great. But be careful that the underlying feelings motivating you are not placing you at risk of burnout.

Check in with yourself and make sure you are dealing with your own personal issues as they arise during your mothering experience. Don't allow your emotions to push you over the edge and cause you to say and do things that disconnect you from your child.

If you feel burdened and fatigued by the constant supervision required of you, it's time to take stock and find resources to help you. Research your area for a support group, look on line, call your local hospital, or ask your doctor. Put a notice up on your local community bulletin board inviting other moms to meet with you at a coffee shop.

Is your marriage strained? Do you feel like it is on shaky ground? If you are constantly at odds with your partner and trying to balance his/her opposite approach to your parenting it could be a pathway to burnout or conflict within the marriage. Your children need consistent messages in order to thrive. Consider counseling or parent coaching to get back on track.

Posted by Elizabeth at 6:33 PM in 12 Step Parenting Process | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

I recognize that my knee-jerk reactions are based in fear. I strive to address situations from a proactive rather than a reactive state.

Ever say harsh words to your child that you swear came directly from your own mother's mouth? "You are nothing but a lazy, no good for nothing.... you'll never amount to anything...." Whoops! How could I repeat those hurtful words to my own child? Easy! Often that slip of the tongue is a parent's fallback position or automatic response that erupt at times of overwhelming stress. Don't feel bad. We've all been there.

We CAN learn to predict our reactions and control our responses to stress. Here are a few ideas to control your anger. Visit our website for more suggestions.

• You can learn to break the cycle of yelling, or feeling angry. How you react as a parent when you are stressed impacts your child's reactions. If you yell consistently, they will learn to yell too.
• Pay attention to early clues when you are beginning to get upset.
• Make a list of those moments during the day or situations that get under your skin and make you mad.
• Teach your children how to slow down and breathe easily during difficult moments. Model this for them when they come to you with their own upset.

When we are aware, we CAN learn to be responsive rather than reactive.

Posted by Elizabeth at 5:48 AM in 12 Step Parenting Process | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)