More from Dr. Mel Levine's Lecture
After years of study, Dr. Levine observed that children who spent time with adults became successful adults themselves. They weren’t “overdosed with each other.” Most children, Dr. Levine feels, are scheduled with too many play dates and group activities. They rarely spend time with the adults in their lives and are unable to entertain themselves or hold a conversation with older people.
What struck me about this observation is that mothers of struggling children often suffer from the opposite problem – too little adult interaction. We spend our days shuffling between doctor appointments, therapist sessions, and school meetings, work and home, rarely stopping to enjoy another mother’s company.
Sometimes I think of Heidi Holland in Wendy Wasserstein’s play The Heidi Chronicles. “It’s just that I feel stranded,” she says in one of her monologues. “And I thought the whole point was that we wouldn’t feel stranded. I thought the point was we were all in this together.”
Believe it or not, we are all in this together, especially we moms of challenging children. Since joining a support group (go to http://www.awildride.net/index3.htm for easy steps to start your own), I no longer feel stranded. I feel a connection with other adults, especially moms going through some of the same challenges I am. Meeting moms in similar situations makes me a stronger person and definitely a better parent -- sometimes. Sometimes I am just glad that I can hold my end of an adult conversation. Other times my end of the conversation is merely nodding in agreement, yet I am delighted to connect with other adults, and I give myself a pat on the back for showing up for this adult version of a playdate.
