New Beginnings: I Shall Not Judge Myself (by Elizabeth)
Last night Dr. Mel Levine spoke to a crowd of 450 parents and teachers in Tacoma, Washington. I’ve heard Dr. Levine speak before. He liberally peppers his lecture on learning abilities with humorous anecdotes. The crowd laughs along as he explains why some children struggle in school and some succeed. As a Professor of Pediatrics and Director of the Clinical Center for the Study of Development and Learning at the University of North Carolina Medical School, Founder of All Kind Of Minds Institute and a best-selling author, Dr. Levine knows what he is talking about when it comes to describing how “to recognize learning challenges as learning differences.”
During last night’s talk, I was struck by the fact that the advice he offered for helping our challenging children could easily apply to us mothers. For instance, Dr. Levine suggested that an adolescent who struggles in school, never makes the sports team, is not quick-witted or popular should take a long look at a student who is. “But don’t compare yourself to the high school Superstar,” Dr. Levine warned. “Seriously consider the possibility that this may well be his finest hour. There is a good chance he’ll be working for you someday.”
And so it goes for us mothers. How often have I measured my own parenting abilities against those of another mother on the playground who plays imaginative games with her child and his friends while I am lucky to get to the playground at all? And how often have I compared myself against the mother who bakes cookies with her daughter as an after school activity when I can barely prepare a decent evening meal. I don’t judge these women as being insufferable. I judge myself as being inadequate.
Today I resolve not to measure my own worth as a parent based on the perceived success of other mothers. I will go through my day dealing with mothering issues and dilemmas on my own terms. And if I see the mother whose son is an honor roll student, the captain of the football team, a volunteer firefighter, and the heartthrob of the high school, I will remember that this may be her finest hour, and perhaps some day her son will work for mine.
To read more about Dr. Mel Levine and his ground-breaking philosophy, go to http://www.allkindsofminds.org
