Down and Out: The story of one mother’s journey through her son’s depression -- Part 2
Diagnosis
The drive to Bellevue discouraged me at first. A fifty minute appointment with Dr. Thornton, a pediatric psychiatrist, required four hours of travel time. She shared an office with Mental Health Northwest, and despite its posh address, the clinic was simply furnished with a few comfortable chairs, a child-size table, plastic toys and a few books, all placed on a brightly colored rug. Posters on the wall notified those in the waiting room of suicide prevention phone numbers and classes for those caring for loved ones with bipolar disorder, a not-so-subtle reminder that we were not there for a play date.
How do I define a “good” psychiatrist? When do I know I have the best for my son? What do psychiatrists “do” anyway? Is it really necessary to drive all the way to the Eastside for this particular pediatric psychologist? I rationalized the commute with the fact that Dr. Thornton was considered the best child psychologist by our respected pediatrician.
In the waiting room, Nicholas climbed onto my lap. We read several of the books in the children’s corner. I felt his need to sit as close to me as possible. He would happily meld his body with mine, his anxieties heightening the longer we waited.
When Dr. Thornton called us in, I smiled at her appearance. She was my age, wore glasses, no make-up and dressed rather frumpy, yet she looked comfortable, both wise and kind. She reminded me of a much beloved school teacher, but her first attempt to talk with Nicholas forced him to bury his head in my lap.
As the doctor and I discussed our situation, it was clear that quality sleep could be the key to progress, both Nicholas’ and mine. But there were other issues as well. Weren’t four-year-old boys supposed to be cheerful? Why was he sad all the time? He rarely smiled. He avoided social situations. Music seemed to soothe him, but it could also irritate him. I talked freely and was able to catch a glimpse of Dr. Thornton’s notes: “Lay on mother’s lap throughout session. Refused to come in alone. No eye contact. No spontaneous speech. Closed eyes, sucked thumb, and held onto blanket throughout session. Folded into fetal position whenever mother or I tried to engage him.”
After the evaluation, Dr. Thornton offered, “I have never prescribed medication at this young age and I am reluctant to do it now. Perhaps we could give him something to sleep, but even those medications make me nervous. Let’s monitor him closely for a few months.”
Throughout the spring and summer, we made the journey to the Eastside. Ultimately Dr. Thornton concluded that Nicholas suffered from General Anxiety Disorder, Separation Anxiety Disorder, Nightmare Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Traits, Sensory Integration Disorder and was possibly lactose intolerant!
Whoa! What am I supposed to do with all this information? What, for example, is General Anxiety Disorder? Dr. Thornton explained that children with GAD engage in extreme, unrealistic worry about everyday life activities. They worry about everything from school work to sports games or the fact that they might be late or make a mistake. I know that Nicholas often feels self-conscious and tense. He needs constant reassurance. He worries about, well, everything.
Though Nicholas was one of the youngest cases Dr. Thornton experienced in her practice, she explained that General Anxiety Disorder was more prevalent among children than I imagined. According to the pamphlet she gave me, if not treated early, anxiety disorders can lead to:
• Repeated school absences or an inability to finish school;
• Impaired relations with peers;
• Low self-esteem;
• Alcohol or other drug use;
• Problems adjusting to work situations; and
• Anxiety disorder in adulthood.
“And there is actually one more possibility,” Dr. Thornton adds. “He may suffer from depression. He’s still young, only four-years-old. But he doesn't even know what calm feels like and at some point we may want to consider medication.”
Now I’m depressed.
“Are you willing to try alternative therapies?” Dr. Thornton asks.
Next: Part Three: Alternative Therapies
To read Part One, click here.
