Building friendships through support groups - Part 4
My child exhibits persistent, impulsive, and unpredictable behaviors.
I was next introduced to Valerie:
“I agree with what both of you are saying,” adds Valerie, another mom. She is the sole support of her family and is raising Caroline, her 12-year-old daughter, alone. “I think that sometimes people just don’t see kids for who they really are. Caroline has a classmate who has purple hair, a tattoo on her neck, and a pierced eyebrow. People think she’s a pot-smoking, disenfranchised rebel. Well, that girl is on the honor roll and she’s the favorite babysitter in the neighborhood!” I notice Valerie let out a big sigh.
“Now my daughter,” she continues, “dresses in the latest teen fashion, has plenty of friends, and never gives her teachers or softball coach a hard time. People think she is an ordinary, sweet teenager. But at home she is a Jekyll and Hyde nightmare. Her constant oppositional behavior and ugly, hurtful accusations drain and demoralize me. One day last week, after Caroline left for school, I found a little gift she had left me – feces in the clean laundry basket. I can’t sleep. I can’t eat. I am both afraid and sad so much of the time.” The bags under Valerie’s eyes confirm her difficult life.
“Caroline has a lot of trouble dealing with disappointment. Last week she expressed her frustration over a canceled night with friends by being self-destructive; she banged her head really hard on the wall over and over. When I tried to reason with her she just screamed at me. She was possessed! And the worst part? This is an everyday occurrence. When even small things go awry, it’s the end of the world. Yesterday, the store was out of her favorite cereal. Later I found her in her room, cutting on herself. She never speaks to me unless you count the times she screams at me. And consequences are a joke. She acts out regardless of whatever consequence I impose.”
Photo © Jason Stitt - Fotolia.com
