Horrors -- Not just Halloween (by Elizabeth)
For some children, it's not just Halloween they find scary. Call it Fear of Changing Appearances. These children abhor change of any kind, any time of the year.
Pajama day, crazy hair day,or dress as your favorite character from a book day can throw these kids into a tailspin. Parents wonder “what’s wrong with my kid? Why doesn’t he like pajama day for goodness sake? He stays in his comfy PJs, snuggles with his pillow, and reads books at school all day.”
While wearing PJs at school is a drastic change from the child's routine, some other upsetting changes may be so subtle that we parents miss them. Yet they are monumental to a child who does not appreciate any change of appearance.
For instance, when we traveled to Peru several years ago, I took off my heart-shaped locket and put it in the safe deposit box. I did not want to wear anything “flashy.”
When my son noticed the necklace gone, he cried. Better stated, he sobbed. It wasn’t until I bought a necklace while in Peru (that looked nothing like the locket I always wore) that I realized my son associated the heart locket with my love for his father and that taking it off meant I no longer wanted to be married.
If you notice your child reacting to another person’s change of appearance (haircut, new clothing, make-up), ask him some questions. You may be surprised by the answers. If he freaks out because you are wearing lipstick, you might ask him if it’s the color that bothers him, or the fact that you don’t normally wear lipstick.
Then reassure him that nothing is wrong with him or with the fact that you want to wear lipstick for that matter.
And to parents who wonder what’s wrong with a kid who doesn’t like Pajama Day, I realize that it’s hard to watch a child struggle with childhood events that should be fun. But it’s okay not to like pajama day, or crazy hair day, or whatever. Your son is who he is. Going along with whatever everyone else does is NOT a requirement. Be thankful for this trait when he gets into high school!
For the record, the pre-school and elementary schools my son attended “celebrated” pajama day every year for 7 years. In those seven years, my son NEVER participated.
Photo © Eisenhans - Fotolia.com
Comments
I shaved my daddy-dreds off a month back to no obvious reaction from my kids or the others I care for. But then I change my glasses 'cos it's sunny and all but one freaked out a little. Go figure.
It's in such things that you find what is important. My hair, not. My twinkly eyes, perhaps so. Children are so knowing.
Posted by: Bee | November 5, 2007 12:29 PM