A Wild Ride: Our Blog

At home, begin a modified school year routine a few weeks before school starts.

• Many children stay up later in the summer. If this is the case for your child, simply begin by taking their current bedtime and subtracting 15-30 minutes every few days. By the time school starts again, their body will already be adjusted to the school year time, making bedtime and getting up in the morning much easier.

• Instead of letting your child get up and eat when he wants, start getting him up around the time he will need to get up on a school day. Encourage him to get ready for the day by dressing, brushing his teeth, and eating his breakfast just as he will during the school year.

With a little planning, you can help assure that your child has the best start possible to the new school year. By advocating and making preparations now, you are laying the foundation for a successful school year.

Posted by Elizabeth at 1:59 AM in Back to School | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

2. Make arrangements for your child to visit the school with you separate from your meeting with his teacher. The first day of school is often chaotic as excited children rush through the hallways, noisily making their way to their new classrooms. This can be overwhelming for many children. One way to alleviate some of the stress is to make an appointment to visit the school before the first day of school.
• Assure your child’s new teacher that you do not need a lot of their time. You simply want your child to meet his teacher, and see the classroom. Your child’s teacher may want to show him where he’ll hang his coat or where his desk is.
• Walk the route your child will take to his classroom so that he can re-familiarize himself with the school. Visit the other rooms he will frequent, such as the music room, lunchroom, and gymnasium.

Posted by Elizabeth at 1:54 AM in Back to School | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Summer vacation is quickly coming to an end. As you contemplate the new school year, it’s time to regroup, rethink, and begin planning. If your child is in elementary school, the transition may mean just one new teacher. If he is in middle school or high school, it may mean five or more. Either way, the impact on your child is the same. New school years always mean lots of changes. To help your child make the transition smoothly, you need to begin developing a plan now.

Though the first day of the school year may be three or four weeks away, there is no time like the present to begin laying the foundation for a successful school year. Below are a few suggestions to get you started;

1. Put together a packet of information to share with your child’s teacher. Believe it or not, it is not uncommon for the new teacher to not have the paperwork necessary to teach your child. And sometimes they do have it, but haven’t taken the time to go through each child’s file carefully before the first day of school. This can be disastrous for your child and for the teacher as well. If the school year starts off rocky, it’s difficult to get it back on track. So rather than relying on the school system to get it right, advocate for your child right from the start. The best time to advocate for your child is before the school year even begins.
• Gather any information pertinent to your child’s education, such as his Individual Educational Plan (I.E.P.) or 504 Plan, his most current school assessment, and report cards. If you have information that is specific to your child’s condition, make copies of that too. By all means, include anything new that has come about during the summer, such as reports from doctors or other professionals.
• Two weeks before school starts call and ask for a meeting with your child’s teacher(s). Take along all the information you’ve gathered. Be prepared to share strategies for helping your child through this new transition. But also be prepared to listen carefully; you may hear hints about what your child will experience those first few days; hints that will help you prepare him. The purpose of the meeting is twofold; you will be sharing valuable information and you will be demonstrating your concern for your child right from the beginning.

Posted by Elizabeth at 1:50 AM in Back to School | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

MYTH # 10

…parents will know if their teen is depressed…

Unlike other mental health issues, like panic attacks or mania, depression can be harder to identify.

Teens, as they seek independence and autonomy, try to disguise their troubles, especially around their parents and other adults.

Parents often minimize or ignore their kids’ symptoms, attributing them to normal adolescent angst.

It’s tough to sort it all out.

My daughter Chloe’s depression got so bad she literally could not get out of bed before I took her to the doctor.

Seventeen year-old Michael lay on his bed shedding silent tears when I insisted he see someone.

Fortunately I did not wait too long to seek help, but I can certainly sympathize with those parents who say “I just didn’t know he was that depressed.”

Teen depression kills.

Don’t hesitate if you think your child needs help. Listen to your inner voice, your gut.

Get help.

Seek treatment.

It works!

Thank you, Kate, for these words of wisdom. Check out Kate on her Blog and read her book Mommy, I'm Still Here.

Posted by Elizabeth at 1:39 AM in Diagnosable Disorders | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

More from Kate McLaughlin:

If a teen is depressed, everyday activities and goals can seem overwhelming and unreachable. In trying to encourage our kids to do more, we may be causing more harm than good. This leads us to our next commonly held misbelief:

MYTH #9

…resuming normal routines helps depressed kids get better faster…

Parents (and I was terribly guilty of this for a very long time) often assume that their teen is out of sorts because he stopped participating in normal activities.

The truth is, depression caused the “stoppage.” Depression can make it almost impossible to keep up with every day routines and favorite pastimes.

The goal of treatment is to get teens back into their regular routine, but pushing a still-ill kid can aggravate the medical condition. Just like any other illness, depression may require some accommodations until wellness returns.

If we push for too much too soon, our kids may fail to reach those standards, thus reinforcing their already negative self-view.

What to do?

- Give them medical care
- Give them love
- Give them attention
- Give them some slack
- Give them time

By doing these things and being unconditionally available, you will support your children in every possible way. Right now, that’s what they need.

Posted by Elizabeth at 5:34 AM in Diagnosable Disorders | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

MYTH #8

I am often asked about gender in relation to serious mental illnesses.

Here are the facts:

~ Bipolar disorder strikes males and females evenly.

~ Schizophrenia affects males 1.4 times as often as it affects females, according to a 2005 report in Schizophrenia Bulletin.

~ Depression strikes women twice as often as men.

This destroys the long-held MYTH #8

…depression affects teenage boys and girls equally…

Some interesting supporting data:

Recent studies conducted by the University of Illinois and the University of South Carolina indicated that young women experience twice as many “personal stressors” than their male counterparts, and that they also react more strongly. These two factors lead to markedly more depression in females than in males. Researchers don’t know exactly why this is, but are looking at the obvious involvement of female hormones. Some even say that hormone manipulation / regulation may hold significant treatment promise. New research is on the horizon.

Posted by Elizabeth at 1:01 AM in Diagnosable Disorders | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

MYTH #7

…Antidepressants are unsuitable for teenagers…

This mistaken assumption is killing young people!

In 2004 the US FDA and several other countries required that antidepressants carry a ‘ black label’ warning of their association with an increased risk of suicidal thinking, feeling and behavior in children and adolescents.

This single action incited a steep drop in antidepressant prescriptions for young people — followed almost immediately by a unprecedented increase in teen suicides.

Coincidence?

Doubtful.

Theories abound, but many agree that deeply depressed teens for whom medication is working sometimes pass through a stage when they’re no longer paralyzed by their mood — they’re getting better, but are still depressed– and they might act on previously held suicidal thoughts. For this reason, careful monitoring by family and doctor, as well as some form of therapy, are vital adjuncts to medication. Once kids pass through this critical phase, antidepressants are highly effective. Most teens vastly improve.

What Do We Know?

~ It is never wise to start with medications.

~ Changes in routines and habits, therapy, and family adjustments all come first.

~ If ultimately these approaches fail, and a teen, his parents and doctor agree that wellness is not foreseeable, medication should never be denied out of fear.

~ Antidepressant medications should only be prescribed to teens with concurrent therapy.

~ Monitoring moods and attitudes is vital in the treatment of teen depression.

~ Communication between the teen, his parents, and medical team are vital

Posted by Elizabeth at 6:57 AM in Diagnosable Disorders | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

MYTH # 6

…When a depressed teen refuses help, there’s nothing you can do…

False! False! False!

There’s a lot you can do.

Consider the following…

If your child won’t see a therapist or other support person, go in her place.

Learn everything you can abort her symptoms and possible treatment.

Say to your child,

“I know you don’t think there’s anything wrong, but I do. Humor me. I’m your parent. I love you. If you’re not depressed, the doctor will say you’re not depressed. Go. See what he says.”

If this doesn’t work, keep trying.

If your child had any other illness besides a disease of the brain, you would insist. You would not give up

Don’t give up now.

Get help and support from your child’s school, friends, and extended family if necessary. And remain completely engaged.

— Spend more time with her.

— Listen to her.

— Plan activities that you can enjoy together.

— Keep a regular routine at home.

— Be available!

YOU KNOW YOUR CHILD BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE.

It Is Your Job To Do Something!

DO NOT GIVE UP!

Posted by Elizabeth at 5:47 AM in Diagnosable Disorders | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

MYTH # 5

You can improve a depressed teens behavior by strictly enforcing tough consequence

NOT ALWAYS..in fact...NOT OFTEN

Using consequences always worked well when I was teaching public school because the possibility of lost privileges usually motivated my students to behave appropriately.

For the most part, using consequences was also effective as I raised my own three children…until the older two became ill with bipolar disorder.

Depressed teens DO NOT respond to loss of priveleges. They already feel hopeless, so disappointing you seems like another predictable piece of their scattered personal puzzle.

Clamping down too hard can fuel their despair.

It’s important to remember that kids strive to be “normal.” When they’re depressed or manic, they already feel alienated or disconnected, so taking away privileges when they’re not well (excepting issues of safety, of course) will likely make matters worse.

While trying to maintain your normal expectations, choose your battles carefully. If everything your child does is “not okay” with you, you have no power to negotiate. Give a little wiggle room.

If you give a little now and then, your child will realize your not always on his case and will likely be more cooperative.

Posted by Elizabeth at 5:44 AM in Diagnosable Disorders | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

…I avoided talking about my son’s depression because I didn’t want to make him feel worse…

…I don’t want to bring up my daughter’s moods because I might be misunderstanding her. I don’t want to create something that’s not there…
This brings us to:

MYTH #4–Discussing depression might give them “ideas.”

NOTHING COULD BE FURTHER FROM THE TRUTH!

According to a 2005 study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association, young people who discussed their depression were 50% less likely to contemplate suicide.

When kids have the opportunity to talk about their feelings and perceptions they…

- stop stuffing them down

- release the tension that creates

- tend to feel better, more understood

- are open to hearing about lifestyle changes that may lead to improved mood

While some people will need medication to alleviate a chemical imbalance in their brains, many others will improve with:

- increased exercise

- a more healthful, fresh diet

- additional time outdoors

- better sleep hygiene

- talk therapy, counseling, or group support

Regardless of the final plan to alleviate depression, discussions are almost always the best first step.

TALK ABOUT IT!

Read Myths #1 and #2. Also read Myth #3.

Go to Kate McLaughlin for more helpful information

Posted by Elizabeth at 6:38 AM in Diagnosable Disorders | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

As a high-schooler I appeared to have it all. Involved in student government, the school newspaper, and the cheer-leading squad, I also worked part-time and maintained a perfect 4.0 G.P.A.

I had lots of friends. I went to all the football games... and all the basketball games... and all the dances...

...and I was often profoundly depressed.

Nobody knew.

I prayed God would take me in my sleep so I wouldn't have to wake up to another day.

I first felt this way at age 8.

But on the outside, to the world, I looked like the prototypical over-achieving, Type-A girl. I hid my depression well. I didn't understand it, was ashamed of it; and although it nearly got the best of me at 17 and then again at 20, I managed to overcome and move on.

I was at the top of my class in high school and graduated from college a year early, magna cum laude to boot.

But I struggled.
Oh, how I struggled.

My own story leads me to this:

MYTH #3

~The depressed teen tends to be a loner~

ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY NOT TRUE!

Depression strikes every social strata, every personality type, every intellectual level.

Regardless of life's circumstances, clinical depression can be a reality for someone who's brain doesn't produce the proper chemicals or react properly to the chemicals that are produced. It is unrelated to outside factors.

-It is inherent
-It is from within
-It is isolating
-...and disheartening
-..and exhausting
-IT IS TREATABLE!

PLEASE, don't assume that popularity or a high academic achievement protect a teen from a mental illness. If the symptoms emerge, take them seriously.

Seek treatment.

Read Myths #1 and #2.

Go to Kate McLaughlin for more helpful information.

Posted by Elizabeth at 4:06 PM in Diagnosable Disorders | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

MYTH #2 From Kate McLaughlin, author of Mommy, I'm Still Here: One Family's Journey through Bipolar Disorder:

Adolescent depression looks like adult depression. NOT TRUE!

Teenage depression is not a youthful, more energetic version of adult depression.

Because we are more familiar with the symptoms of adult depression, we expect teen symptoms to be the same.

They are not!

Teen depression usually manifests itself as an irritable, oppositional mood, or a lack of affect.

Many depressed teens say they feel nothing.

They are without emotion.

Nothing matters.

If tearful sadness is missing, it can be difficult to detect depression in teens.

It is important to KNOW YOUR CHILD.

Have frequent, open conversations, attend or participate in activities that interest them, and spend regular one-on-one time together so that if depression strikes, you'll be able to detect the differencesit makes in your individual child.

Go to Kate McLaughlin for more helpful information.

Read Myth #1 here.

Posted by Elizabeth at 1:57 AM in Diagnosable Disorders | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

From Kate McLaughlin, author of Mommy, I'm Still Here: One Family's Journey through Bipolar Disorder:

MYTH # 1:

Teenagers don’t become clinically depressed. They’re moody because of surging hormones.

It’s true that bouts of sadness are common in teens, but sadness and it’s accompanying feelings and moods pass quickly. If it lingers for more than a couple of weeks, a closer look is warranted.

Signs of true, or clinical, depression include:

Frequent or out of the ordinary crying or tearfulness.
Excessive sense of guilt or unworthiness.
A loss of interest in things they normally love.
Changes in sleep–either needing too much or requiring too little.
Changes in appetite–either a sharp increase or significant decrease.
Loss of concern about appearance.
Decline in personal hygiene.
If you recognize several of these symptoms and they last for more than two weeks, consider a visit to your family practitioner. A physical or check-up can rule out underlying causes as simple as anemia, or thyroid or hormone imbalances, and address the issue immediately.

No Teen Need Suffer.

Treatment works.

Seek Help!

Read Kate's Story on A Wild Ride.

Posted by Elizabeth at 1:40 AM in Diagnosable Disorders | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Some more words of wisdom from our friend Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. FAQautism.com is committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism.

We are falling short on all the things we should be doing for our daughter, a third-grader diagnosed with autism. We know that she needs structure and a schedule at home. We know that we could be helping her every day with communication and social skills and academics and motor skills. But our best intentions often go to the wayside.

These comments are echoed frequently by other parents, by teachers and therapists, and by others who are interested in the well-being of individuals with autism. It is probably important for us to step back occasionally and reflect on the big picture. Remember this: perfection is not the goal. Consider these thoughts.

FORGIVE YOURSELF. You are not going to be able to provide a perfect life for your daughter. Forgive yourself for that so you don’t waste time and energy beating yourself up about all your failures.

FORGIVE OTHERS. Your daughter is going to encounter imperfect teachers, imperfect friends, imperfect doctors, and imperfect therapists. She will encounter individuals and groups who do not understand autism or who are intolerant of differences. You will encounter people who are critical of your parenting skills and decisions you make about your daughter’s life. Although there is a time and place for indignation, sometimes it is necessary to just forgive and move on.

DOUBLE UP. Don’t forget to use everyday family activities as opportunities to help your youngster in target areas. She can practice communication, social skills, adaptive behavior, academics, and perceptual motor skills when visiting grandmamma or when helping make the grocery list, bathe the dog, wash dishes, or fold towels. She can learn while swinging in the yard, taking a shower, or snuggling in bed while you read a book at night.

TAKE TIME. In the midst of all the strategies and interventions and target goals, our primary role is to nurture contentment and friendships and joy. Use any opportunity – riding in the car, setting the table for dinner, brushing teeth, or sitting on the front porch – to connect and laugh and enjoy life.

Posted by Elizabeth at 1:30 AM in Diagnosable Disorders | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)