Teen Depression Myth #5 by Kate McLaughlin
MYTH # 5
You can improve a depressed teens behavior by strictly enforcing tough consequence
NOT ALWAYS..in fact...NOT OFTEN
Using consequences always worked well when I was teaching public school because the possibility of lost privileges usually motivated my students to behave appropriately.
For the most part, using consequences was also effective as I raised my own three children…until the older two became ill with bipolar disorder.
Depressed teens DO NOT respond to loss of priveleges. They already feel hopeless, so disappointing you seems like another predictable piece of their scattered personal puzzle.
Clamping down too hard can fuel their despair.
It’s important to remember that kids strive to be “normal.” When they’re depressed or manic, they already feel alienated or disconnected, so taking away privileges when they’re not well (excepting issues of safety, of course) will likely make matters worse.
While trying to maintain your normal expectations, choose your battles carefully. If everything your child does is “not okay” with you, you have no power to negotiate. Give a little wiggle room.
If you give a little now and then, your child will realize your not always on his case and will likely be more cooperative.
