A Stress Less Thanksgiving
Q. With the holidays coming soon, I start to prepare our house for guests. We complete little home projects. Buy new hand towels for the guest bathroom. Unclutter the spare room. But all this activity makes my daughter anxious. It's not part her routine. So this year, I would like to prepare my daughter for the upheaval of the holiday season. What do you suggest I do?
A: Good for you for realizing the importance of preparing your daughter for change. Even though you may be in the holiday spirit, she's probably unconsciously dreading the unpredictability that ANY change brings, especially in HER home environment.
Before you begin to prepare for guests, talk to her about who will be visiting. If these are repeat guests, help her remember the positive aspects of their previous visit. If new guests are coming, compare their characteristics to people she already knows. Help her to feel relaxed by having some sense of familiarity. Talk up the fun you all can have while they are visiting. Get her in the mood of acceptance and lightheartedness. Ask her what would help her to feel more comfortable while the guests are visiting. Take her requests into account as you consider how to make your daughter feel more comfortable. Then ask what she would like to do to help get the house ready for these guests. You'll have to slow down to her speed. But when you move at her pace, it will help her to feel that she is being considered and appreciated.
Answered by Mary Scribner, Parent Coach and A Wild Ride creator/author. Read more from Mary on our FAQ page. You may also ask your own question. Send it to mary@awildride.net.
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