Triggers & How to Avoid Them -- Part 3
Does your child have a button-pushing behavior that drives you absolutely insane?
Try this:
- Write down the behavior, your feelings and how you usually react.
- What are your assumptions about your child when you see this behavior?
- Describe the assumptions about yourself.
- Then write down what you can say to yourself to change your assumption to be more accurate.
- How does that feel?
Here's example:
My son is resistant and stubborn about everything. I feel angry and afraid.
I often react by withdrawing or getting angry with him.
My assumptions about my son is that he is inflexible and can't take no for an answer. He will have difficulty holding down a job or having healthy relationships.
My assumptions about myself are that I cannot influence him in healthy ways to change. I choose to tell myself that my son is a person who knows his limits well and can stand up for himself.
We connect when I listen to him with respect. I feel much calmer and in control of my own emotions. I feel closer to my son and have more self-confidence.
