A Wild Ride: Our Blog

As we wind down from Turn Off the TV Week, I want to share my own “Turn Off” story. I am proud to say that I did not go to the airport this week and therefore I was not bombarded by the televisions throughout the concourse or on the planes. I also did not treat myself to a nice lunch in a fancy department store like Saks or Neiman’s where there are multiple screens to entertain diners. Nor did I go to the gym, which is unfortunate in a lot of ways, but I was spared visions of the Food Network while working off that dessert from the night before.

My children did not watch television because of their homework and after school activities. Saturday morning cartoons remain to be seen (pun intended).

We’ve listened on the radio as the Mariners won three games in a row! The sound of the announcer's voice brought back memories of my childhood listening to the Houston Astros on the family's transistor radio.

As for my own Internet use, I kept my promise and used the Internet sparingly, though I was tempted on many levels to just “check” a few of my favorite sites.

To my fellow mothers of challenging children: Whether you honored Turn Off the TV week or not, you deserve a pat on back for simply making it through another week.

A special thank you to Mom Unplugged for her Turn Off the TV Challenge. Read more of her blog at http://unplugyourkids.blogspot.com.

Posted by Elizabeth at 1:02 AM in Affects of Media | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBacks (0)

Spend time playing video games and watching appropriate TV with your children. Talk with them about their thoughts, feelings, and perceptions about the games they play or TV programs they watching. Young children, especially those who are challenged by personal boundaries, view things literally and may have difficulty telling the difference between fantasy and reality. They need your clarification.

Be aware of the content of video games and TV programming that attract your children, Question whether they are age and developmentally appropriate for your child. Is the nature of the medium aggressive? Research has found that there is a measurable, three - fifteen percent increase of aggressive behavior after watching violent TV. All children who view antisocial programming show a decline in frustration tolerance, sticking with tasks, and obeying rules.

Help your children transition from watching TV to another activity. Pay attention to their mood after watching TV or being on the computer. Evaluate how much time is enough for them. If they are having difficulty unplugging, try limiting their time even more to see if this helps. Also, give them opportunities to move and use their large muscles after sitting. This helps release pent-up kinesthetic energy, especially if your child is usually very active.

Consider the messages your child receives from television. She may not understand that the world is different than the one portrayed on TV. Is the programming aligned with your family values? Check out new shows. They could be terrifying for a child who takes in information very literally.

Use television as a learning tool. Watch appropriate programs with your child. Discuss problem-solving strategies as alternatives to the violence they see on TV. Point out stereotypes of men, women, disabled people, and minorities. Identify scenes and behaviors that conflict with your own family values. Talk back to the TV!

Identify and use television and video games as one form of entertainment, among many. Realize that your child needs to tap into, use, and grow his internal resources. It may seem to him, much easier to be entertained than to find, create, and develop his own motivation. But doing so will be much better for him in the long run.

Posted by Elizabeth at 1:18 AM in Affects of Media | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Dr. Mel Levine, my hero when it comes to authors of parenting books that actually help, suggests another reason why TV shows harm our children's minds.

"Kids need to learn how to delay gratification, but many TV shows resolve everything nearly instantly and effortlessly. Even news programs tend to dole out information in tiny chunks. ... The ability to delay gratification while reading or listening demands sustained attention."

But it's not only TV shows that demonstrate immediate gratification. Video and computer games also provide high-intensity experiences that, if steps are followed correctly, provide pleasure in short order. Reading a book becomes drudgery when fulfillment arrives only at the end of the final chapter.

Perhaps if I spend this week reading a book in front of my children or, better yet, reading a book TO my children, the concept of delayed gratification will begin to make sense to them. Well, it's worth a try.

For more solid advise from Dr. Mel Levine, read his book The Myth of Laziness. Check it out from the library or purchase from www.amazon.com.

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The American Academy of Pediatrics www.aap.org/healthtopics/mediause.cfm
The AAP has been very active in publishing research on the effects of media. Go to their website for information on the media’s impact on children, ideas on establishing guidelines for media use, rating systems, and general education on media.

Entertainment Software Rating Board www.esrb.org/index-js.jsp
The board rates age-based categories and overall content of video and computer games. This is a non-profit, self-regulatory arm of the Entertainment Software Industry, so you’ll still need to do more homework than just take their word for it.

The Center for Media Literacy www.medialit.org
The Center designs and supports media literacy implementation by helping youth develop critical thinking skills and understand messages imbedded in our media. You’ll find tools on how to help your children feel empowered over these messages.

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Let’s look at some ideas on how to manage screen time, benefit from its good effects, and minimize its negative potential.

Determine a weekly screen time limit for your family. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends no screens for infants and toddlers 0-2 years old, and seven-fourteen hours per week for children 3- 18-years old. What works for your family?

Promote other fun, satisfying at-home activities – exercise, reading, playing, listening to music, caring for pets, helping with household tasks, playing games, hobbies, crafts, doing homework, writing letters or keeping a journal, to name a few.

Put the TV and computer in a central location where you can monitor who is watching what.

For more ideas, visit http://www.awildride.net/index2.htm.

Posted by Elizabeth at 7:30 AM in Affects of Media | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Mom Unplugged (The Blogger Formerly Known as Mom of 3) challenges all of us to “Turn It Off” for one week. http://unplugyourkids.blogspot.com/2007/04/tv-turn-off-week-challenge.html.

In our house the TV is already black though I must admit that this is not difficult. After all, football season is over, and my children watch very little TV anyway. But they do enjoy computer games, so I will ask them to participate in Turn Off the Screen Week (though I am certain I will have to bribe them in the end).

But MU goes one step further. She proposes to limit her own Internet usage to one hour a day. For this I applaud her! I hope to join her in this endeavor, but I must admit that I have an obsession. My obsession is searching the web for other mothers’ stories, especially mothers with challenging children.

So before I begin MU’s challenge or suggest that you do the same, I offer some of my favorite Mom Blogs and Websites:

Whitterer on Autism
http://whitterer-autism.blogspot.com/

Mom Not Otherwise Specified
http://www.momnos.blogspot.com/

Mama Says Om
http://www.mamasaysom.com/

Reality Mom
http://www.realitymomzine.blogspot.com/

Motherhood Uncensored
http://motherhooduncensored.typepad.com/

Tell me your favorites and I’ll post them … after next week!

Posted by Elizabeth at 2:32 PM in Affects of Media | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

In his book It's So Much Work to Be Your Friend, Richard Lavoie suggests that parents "discourage children from excessive television viewing, computer usage, and other solitary activities that fail to provide them with opportunities for peer interaction. In many case, learning disabled kids watch television in the same mannter that the adult watches a fire in the fireplace: as an enjoyable activity devoid of meaning. Recent studies also indicate that much of the content of videos, television, and computer games tends to feature or glorify violence and aggression. Children with social skill deficits may come to view such behavior as appropriate."

Check out Rick's website http://www.ricklavoie.com/. Go to "Articles" for information and inspiration for helping a child with learning diabilities.

Posted by Elizabeth at 1:01 AM in Affects of Media | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

This week Terri Mauro, on her About.com site for Parenting Special Needs Children, expressed what many mothers of challenging children must be thinking:

"...it's at times like this that, even as you pray for the dead and wounded and their families, you also secretly pray that the person behind the rampage won't be found to have a diagnosis similar to your child's."

Could my child become a school shooter? Visit Terri's website for some thought-provoking answers: http://specialchildren.about.com/b/a/259072.htm?nl=1.

Posted by Elizabeth at 8:37 AM in Affects of Media | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Turn Off Your TV Week www.tvturnoff.org
This non-profit group encourages and inspires families to turn off their TV and turn on life. They work to educate families about the negative impact of excessive TV watching. This year’s "Turn Off Your TV Week" is April 23rd-29th. This site has fact sheets, information, kits, and strategies to help you turn off the TV.

Commercial Free Childhood www.commercialexploitation.org
This national coalition of concerned professionals and parents work to counter the harmful effects of marketing to children. This site informs readers of various corporate marketing ploys aimed at our children.

For more Resources, go to http://www.awildride.net/index8.htm.

Posted by Elizabeth at 7:21 AM in Affects of Media | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Researchers tell us that television and packaged media products do affect imagination, learning, motivation, and self-image. There are psychologists who think that some fantasy video games may help children develop cognitive skills, the ability to plan ahead, and eye-hand coordination. However, mounting evidence to the contrary worries many parents. Especially parents who have children who are more likely to:

Model the villain and act out what they see on the screen
Have a poor understanding of the difference between reality and fantasy
Have poor impulse control
Become overly intense with escalating anxiety or misbehavior after watching TV or playing video games.

To read Mary's strategies, visit http://www.awildride.net/index2.htm.

Posted by Elizabeth at 1:26 AM in Affects of Media | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

As mothers of challenging children, we often find ourselves acutely sensitive to tragedies that raise our children’s anxieties as well as our own. And the media often play on our fears. For some suggestions on “processing the Virginia Tech shootings,” I turn to Gail Saltz, Psychiatrist, columnist, best-selling author and television commentator.

"The truth is that school shootings are really rare, but the media coverage may lead one to believe it is an epidemic. It is important to try to keep perspective on the risks involved because anxiety about safety can run away with you and become debilitating.

How does one do that?

Avoid exposing yourself to too much media coverage. Watching rebroadcasts just increases anxiety without increasing information.

Talk to others who may be feeling what you are. It's comforting to know you are not alone.

Talk with kids, if they are old enough, about how people do heal from tragedy. Explain how people cope.

Feeling anxious and depressed is normal but if you feel either overwhelmed or the feelings do not go away over time then seek the help of a professional. Some people, even those not directly exposed, can develop deeper depression or post traumatic stress disorder."

For more information, visit http://gailsaltz.ivillage.com/health/2007/04/processing_the_virginia_tech_s.html?par=today,wb

Posted by Elizabeth at 1:02 AM in Affects of Media | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

"My Boys Like Shootouts. What's Wrong With That?" by Jonathan Turley appeared in the Washington Post on Sunday, February 25, 2007. http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/02/23/AR2007022301749.html.

I saved this article to share with you during Media Month. I thought it provided some balance to the age old question: What’s wrong with toy guns? In the article, Turley quotes both Michael Thompson, a psychologist and coauthor of Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys and Nancy Carlsson-Paige, co-author of the book Who’s Calling the Shots?: How to Respond Effectively to Children’s Fascination with War Play and War Toys.

Thompson feels that parents overreact when children play with toy guns. "Play is play. Violence is violence." Turley suggests that the “key is making sure that kids distinguish between the two in their play.”

Carlsson-Paige argues that toy guns are not part of a normal childhood fantasy. They “really manifest the ideas of adults -- of marketing people who push toys that reflect an adult imagination more than a child's.”

Turley goes on to say “Carlsson-Paige, who has long studied the effect of violence in the media on the social development of children, says it is true that guns and war games are a way of helping some children process the plethora of violent images on television, in videos, in the news. When I asked her about my neighborhood toy gun issues, she told me: ‘If parents ban gun play, they run the risk of cutting off a valuable vehicle children need for processing the violence [because] kids use their play to make meaning of what they have experienced in life, and in this case, of the violence they have seen.’"

After yesterday’s horrible shooting spree at Virginia Tech (http://www.nytimes.com/2007/04/16/us/16cnd-shooting.html?_r=1&hp&oref=slogin), I wonder if there will ever be any balance in this country when it comes to guns? Why do we need toy guns so that children can “process the violence they have experienced in life?” What violence do most children in America experience? Sure there are inner-city children who witness gang violence and toddlers who watch in horror as their parents physically battle.

And I’m going out on a limb here. Don't most children in America see violence on the nightly news (without parent discussion)? Or perhaps they watch television programming or go to movies that glamorize violence.

This week perhaps we can all take a moment to remember those who lost their lives yesterday at Virginia Tech. To honor these victims, let's turn off ‘24’ and refuse to pay money to see ‘300.’

Please take this moment to stop, close our eyes, and THINK about what we and our children are watching. What violence can we elminate from our daily media diet?

Posted by Elizabeth at 5:54 AM in Affects of Media | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

In today's New York Times, Alina Tugend wrote an excellent opinion piece:

RECENTLY, a friend’s 9-year-old son stumbled onto some all-too-vivid pornography while playing games on a children’s Web site.

At first he was scared to let his mom know. But unable to hold it in any longer he blurted out that the images were “haunting” him.

“I can’t get these pictures out of my head,” he told her. “I think about them all the time.”

My friend was stunned, especially since she thought she had some fairly strong controls on her computer to prevent such a thing from happening. “I felt like a terrible mother,” she said.

Listening to her, I felt like a fairly ignorant one. I had heard of Internet parental controls and filters, but had never checked them out. Telling our sons that they could visit only certain Web sites — and as our computer is in a common room, keeping an eye on what they are doing — seemed adequate to me."

Alina describes the pros and cons of web monitoring systems, filters and, yes, even spying. Want to read more of Alina's essay? Go to http://www.nytimes.com/2007/04/14/technology/14shortcuts.html?_r=1&oref=slogin

Posted by Elizabeth at 2:29 PM in Affects of Media | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

In Carmela's story http://www.awildride.net/index1l.htm, she says that the media is not the ultimate culprit and cause of eating disorders. An eating disorder is considered a mental illness. It takes more than skinny models, actresses and thin peers to develop one.

In most cases, I think that eating disorders are complicated and both very well understood and very mysterious. Does brain chemistry, genes, abandonment issues, sexual abuse, temperament, or excessive external and internal pressure cause an eating problem? Each person is different and has their collection of factors to untangle, understand, treat, and recover from. Check out the Newsweek interview with Dr. Cynthia Bulik, director of the eating-disorders program at the University of North Carolina, where she shares her thoughts on many related issues:
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/15730915/site/newsweek/.

Dr.Bulik states, at the end of her interview, that media images are a significant trigger, but says that eating disorders have been around for centuries!

Posted by Elizabeth at 7:19 AM in Affects of Media | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Dr. Mel Levine, renowned pediatrician, best-selling author and founder of All Kinds of Minds Institute, writes in his book A Mind at a Time:

“For the most part, television shows offer stimulation in small chunks without much call for sustained attention and deep concentration. At times I think certain television shows serve as models of attentional dysfunction for their younger viewers. Canned laughter during situation comedies is a major offender in my opinion and should probably be banned as a form of intellectual child abuse! Imagine being told when something is funny—the ultimate affront to language processing and higher thinking.”

As a stressed out mom, I sometimes sit and stare at the television, but even then I find the laugh track annoying! Today, I think I will thumb through a magazine instead.

For more information on Dr. Levine, visit http://www.allkindsofminds.org/.
To purchase A Mind at a Time, go to http://amazon.com.
For more information about TV Turnoff Week, visit http://www.tvturnoff.org/.

Posted by Elizabeth at 7:08 AM in Affects of Media | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

It all started with Barney. Each weekday morning, I plunked my small son in front of the TV, and while he chattered at the image of a purple dinosaur on the screen, I dressed for work. Often this god-from-public television allowed me enough time to add a scarf or a piece of jewelry before Max became restless, and my ability to accessorize cut short.

At the end of the day, Max watched Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Power Rangers. Together these superheroes provided an hour of peace -- time enough to open the mail, return phone calls, pour a glass of wine, and start dinner. Before bed, we cuddled on the sofa to watch a video. Disney’s Aladdin --for the 632nd time – I kid you not.

During these early years, I routinely searched catalogs looking for toys guaranteed to occupy my son’s time for hours. Occasionally a toy sounded so promising that I had the item shipped Federal Express. I can safely say that I spent the first six years of my son’s life looking for toys and activities that provided entertainment for extended periods.

Then the Game Boy was introduced into our home. Our pediatrician actually recommended the toy as a way for Max to decompress at the end of the day. The game was portable and offered an alternative to hiding under the table when we went out to dinner. “This should take his mind off his anxieties,” the doctor suggested.

At first, I felt relief. Finally, the goddess of struggling mothers granted my wish. We found something that kept Max busy for hours! I marveled at his ability to concentrate. Before long, I realized this toy was a mistake.

My first clue was the change in Max’s behavior when he played his GameBoy. He could not put it down. It became an obsession, and even when I gave him a two-minute warning, the game itself did not allow for easy exit. First the game had to be won, then saved, all of which could take ten minutes or more. What bothered me most was my son’s wild-eyed look while playing.

This portable contraption gave way to video games. We banned X-box, but computer games offered as much excitement and sometimes even better graphics. While I hated the “Mr. Hyde” my son became when he played on the computer, I enjoyed the peace. Sadly, the quiet was short-lived. I realized that Max’s behavior after an hour killing aliens made me wish I had never said “yes” to screen time, the quiet shattered by his protest and inability to “step away form the computer.”

Tension grew within our household. My husband’s anger over the fact that he could not ask our son a simple question while he was on the computer cancelled out any positive time I enjoyed while my son was “plugged in.” To ease hostilities, the computer became a “weekend only” event, but every Saturday morning begins with “May I have my computer time now?” So much for “good morning.”

As a mother, I want to give my son what offers him pleasure, especially after a long week, but I do not like the agitated boy he becomes. If I reward him with screen time, is that really a reward? Is the computer merely a babysitter -- one I don’t pay directly but I pay for in the long run?

To read more stories, visit http://www.awildride.net/index1i.htm.

Posted by Elizabeth at 7:21 AM in Affects of Media | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

The influence of the media on our children is A Wild Ride's focus this month. On the Blog, we previously discussed the role media plays in affecting a girl's body image and potentially contributing to eating disorders. We also commented on how food advertising contributes to our ever-increasing obsesity problem.

For more of Jan's columns, visit http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/parenting/.

Q: My girls are 2 and 5 years old. Our family has rules about respectful treatment of people, which includes not hitting or pushing.

They're not allowed toys used to "shoot" people. Yet many movies and TV shows use violence as entertainment. We allow our kids very little screen time, none of it commercial, but when our oldest goes to friends' houses, she sometimes comes home with tales of watching animated action movies and playing with swords and guns. I know I can't isolate my children, but I want them to learn that violence in movies, intended for entertainment, is not OK in real life. How can I achieve my goals?

A: There's no quick response that will instantly lead your children to grasp your values.

You know you can't keep your children protected from exposure to violence in our society, real or pretend, and you want your children to develop into people who are not violent. Most likely, you also don't want them to become blasé to violence, either, which often occurs when people watch too much violence on TV or in movies.

It's important to understand that the imaginative play of children with guns and swords is far different from real-life stabbings and shootings. Such play, as all play, reflects the culture in which children live. You'll have many opportunities to teach your children that shooting and hurting people for real is not OK.

Start with stopping them from pushing and hitting others. In time, they'll learn the difference between fantasy and reality and develop self-control (which will stop them from hurting others) and a conscience (which tells them that doing so is wrong).

It's not unusual for children under age 5 to occasionally push or hit one another. Most children learn quickly that physical aggression is unacceptable behavior. Also keep in perspective that while ours is a culture where many own guns and where violence is part of entertainment, the likelihood is minimal that either of your children will use guns to solve problems.

You need to speak to your children about your values. When your child comes home with information about a movie she's seen that involved guns or swords, offer your opinion: "I don't like movies where people fight with swords." Or you can say, "In movies, shooting is pretend; in real life, shooting people with guns is dangerous, and sometimes people die." If you watch a violent show with your children, be sure to talk about what you are seeing, offering your perspective and inserting your values.

When young children pretend to shoot another, it usually doesn't mean they want that person dead. Children don't understand the permanence of death until about age 10; therefore, gun play is usually about zapping a person, pretending to make the person disappear. Even so, you can have rules about gun play: outside only, no pretend shooting of another person, no toy guns allowed (giving tacit approval for children to use their index finger). Resist banning gun play all together, as doing so only sends such play underground, where children zap each other behind their parents' backs.

It will take years for your children to grasp your values regarding respectful treatment of people. Be low-key yet intentional in your approach. Also realize that you exert the most influence in this regard when your children are between the ages of 6 and 12 years old.

For further reading: "We Don't Play with Guns Here: War, Weapon and Superhero Play in the Early Years," by Penny Holland. (Open University Press. $35.95).

Jan Faull answers questions of general interest in her column. You can e-mail her at janfaull@aol.com or write to: Jan Faull, c/o Families, The Seattle Times, P.O. Box 70, Seattle, WA 98111.

Copyright © 2007 The Seattle Times Company

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Kaiser Family Foundation released a study March 28th that is “the largest study ever conducted of TV food advertising to children.” This study analyzed the content of TV ads and children’s television viewing habits in order to “provide an estimate of the number and type of TV ads seen by children of various ages. The study found that tweens ages 8-12 see the most food ads on TV, an average of 21 ads a day. Of all food ads in the study that target children or teens, 34% are for candy and snacks. Of the 8,854 ads reviewed in the study, there were none for fruits or vegetable targeting children or teens. One in five food ads included a push to a website and/or offered a game or toy. There is increasing pressure from policymakers, health officials, and consumer advocates to begin to regulate the industry especially in this time of increasing childhood obesity and diabetes.

The report can be found at http://www.kff.org/entmedia/entmedia.

Posted by Elizabeth at 9:48 AM in Affects of Media | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)