A Wild Ride: Our Blog

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, "Where have I gone wrong?"

Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night."

~ Charles M. Schulz, Creator of Peanuts comic strip

Posted by Elizabeth at 8:12 AM in Humor , Nurturing Ourselves | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

By the time a woman realizes that maybe her mother was right, she usually has a child who thinks she's wrong.

Posted by Elizabeth at 10:44 AM in Humor | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Posted on my Refrigerator

I can only please one person per day.

Today is not your day.

Tomorrow is not looking good either.

Posted by Elizabeth at 8:53 AM in Humor , Nurturing Ourselves | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

In Honor of Erma

Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving. -- Erma Bombeck

Posted by Elizabeth at 8:51 AM in Humor , Nurturing Ourselves | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

CHEERS! It's Mother's Day!

Not traditionally a drinking holiday, but why the hell not!!

Posted by Elizabeth at 8:43 AM in Humor , Nurturing Ourselves | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Wish My Partner Said That

I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.
- Bill Cosby

Posted by Elizabeth at 8:33 AM in Humor , Nurturing Ourselves | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

A Dose of Reality

"Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse." -Lily Tomlin-

Posted by Elizabeth at 5:49 AM in Humor , Nurturing Ourselves | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Okay, it's Sunday night and many of us are looking at the week's schedule, making certain that our challenging children are properly active, engaged, instructed, cared for, or at least have their basic needs met. OR you may be bracing yourself for another hard week with your "bear" of a child.

So, from all of us at A Wild Ride, we hope that this week, if your child is indeed a bear to deal with, he/she is a black bear as opposed to a grizzly bear, and that you SURVIVE!

Wishing Mothers of Challenging Children everywhere a week of serenity or at least a few moments of calm!

WARNING!

Due to the frequency of human-bear encounters, the British Columbia Fish and Wildlife Branch is advising hikers, hunters, fishermen, and any persons that use the out-of-doors in a recreational or work related function to take extra precautions while in the field.

We advise the outdoorsman to wear little noisy bells on clothing so as to give advance warning to any bears that might be close by so you don't take them by surprise.

We also advise anyone using the out-of-doors to carry "pepper spray with him/her in case of an encounter with a bear.

Outdoorsmen should also be on the watch for fresh bear activity, and be able to tell the difference betweek black bear faces and grizzy bear feces. Black bear feces is smaller and contains lots of berries and squirrel fur. Grizzly bear shit has bells in it and smells like pepper.

Photo by Mary Pohlmann

Posted by Elizabeth at 5:14 PM in Humor | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

From my all-time favorite author and humorist, Erma Bombeck:

One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child's name and how old he or she is.

My oldest son is relieved that I no longer call him by his Aunt's name. But then again he's a teenager, so now he's unhappy that I call him at all.

Posted by Elizabeth at 4:42 AM in Humor | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

For some of us, okay, MOST of us, it's been a rough week. For a humorous reality check, I often turn to my friends Patty and Gina over at Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid.

Extreme Makeover Bipolar edition

As parents of a teenage bipolar daughter, my husband must always find ways to “roll with the punches”.

“Mom! Jennifer’s punching a picture of you!” screamed my son.

“That’s OK, I look fat in that one!”

The key to survival, of course, is to try and find the silver lining among some pretty dark clouds. Sometimes it’s easier than others, particularly when she employs one of her most proven coping techniques – cleaning and re-arranging her room. Often, when I enter her room to give her a goodnight kiss, I’m never quite sure, just where I’ll find her bed—or her. My husband and I are in agreement—-until she starts using power tools, this is a healthy way for her to release her anger and frustration.

I got the opportunity to see this plan in action last weekend when she became upset after some problems with her friends. She was growing increasingly agitated, as we discovered when we were attempting to collect the children to take them to my sister’s house for a birthday party for her little cousin.

“Come on Jenn! It’s time to go to Emmy’s party!” I quietly announced.

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN? I HATE YOU! I AM NOT GOING ANYWHERE! she screeched.
Upon hearing her less than cheerful tone, my husband and I did the only thing good parents would do — we ditched her – leaving her alone to cool down. . Of course, she did manage to keep in touch by calling my cell phone no less than 27 times.

When we returned several hours later, I wasn’t sure what I would find or even if my house would still be standing.

As we walked into the kitchen, my husband and I were amazed.

“Wow!” exclaimed my husband, “she cleaned the entire kitchen.”

“Gee, how did she get that nasty grease spot off the stove?” I asked.

“When did you buy that bookcase?” my husband asked.

“I didn’t, but Jenn is right, it looks much better on that wall. And I really like how she put the sectional on the North wall. She’s really got a knack for this.”

My husband and I were amazed. The house had never looked better – which gave us a brilliant idea.

“Oh Jennifer!” we called in unison.

With her head down, she sauntered into the kitchen.

“Yes?” she asked still afraid to make eye contact.

“We’re having friends over on Saturday. Do you suppose we could schedule a meltdown for Friday afternoon?”

Read more from Patty & Gina on their Blog.

Posted by Elizabeth at 5:12 AM in Humor | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

You don't have to have 10 children to appreciate this one:

An old, tired-looking dog wandered into the yard. I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home. He followed me into the house, down the hall, and fell asleep in a corner. An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out.

The next day he was back, resumed his position in the hall, and slept for an hour. This continued for several weeks. Curious, I pinned a note to his collar: "Every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap."

The next day he arrived with a different note pinned to his collar: "He lives in a home with ten children -- he's trying to catch up on his sleep. Can I come with him tomorrow?"

Posted by Elizabeth at 4:45 AM in Humor | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

In keeping with the sense of humor theme, I offer you a Meme. Basically the definition of a Meme is a transfer of information (isn't that a Blog?). Earlier this month I joined a social network of Bloggers (many of whom also know the struggles of parenting challenging children). Through this organization, I have been tagged by Churp, Churp: I'm an oxymoron: a libidinous, infertile mom and am now expected to produce a meme. So here goes!

First I must post the rules:
1. Link to the person that tagged you and post the rules on your Blog.
2. Share 7 random and/or weird things about yourself.
3. Tag 7 random people at the end of your post and include links to their Blogs. (Because our readers are parents, I randomly chose parent blogs.)
4. Let each person know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their Blog.

Then list seven random (and humourous) comments about myself:

1. I am not the perfect mother. In fact there are many times when I feel like the Baroness in the Sound of Music. Remember the scene when she tries to play with the VonTrapp children and fails miserably? When Uncle Max asks her what she plans to do, she responds: Darling, haven't you ever heard of a delightful little thing called boarding school? Yep, that's me.

2. My favorite Erma Bombeck quote: Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.

3. My second favorite Erma Bombeck quote: Housework, if you do it right, will kill you. (That’s why I don’t do.)

4. I subscribe to Jen Zug’s theory that it is absolutely essential that parents Get Away now and then. Check out her Blog This Pile I'm Standing In.

5. I am a very patient person, but sometimes I think I allow negative people to drag me down. So I’m seriously considering making this change to my outgoing phone message:

I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call. I am making some changes in my life. Please leave a message after the Beep. If I do not return your call, YOU are one of those changes.

6. I’ve played Total Momsense at least 100 times A mom (Anita Renfroe) has condensed into less than 3 minutes everything a mom might say to her kids in a 24 hour period - to the tune of the William Tell Overture! For more from Anita Renfroe go to her site.

7. I'm considering this for my personal logo. What do you think?

Random blogs worth checking out:
Operation Simplify
mamalicio.us
LaLaGirl - Twinfinite Chaos!
Mamacita Caliente
Where are we going?
Angstmama
stupidmommy (She's not at all stupid!)
Bonus: Suzanne Says

Tomorrow: It's back to the more serious side of parenting.

Posted by Elizabeth at 6:04 AM in Humor | Permalink | Comments (5) | TrackBacks (0)

Laughed till I cried! Check this out. A mom (Anita Renfroe) has condensed everything a mom might say to her kids in 24 hours into less than 3 minutes - to the tune of the William Tell Overture! For more from Anita Renfroe go to her site.

Posted by Elizabeth at 10:10 AM in Humor | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Posted by Elizabeth at 6:04 AM in Humor | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

As long as we’re on the subject of eating and not eating, I wanted to share this with you. A couple of weeks ago, I talked about the new book Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid . Well, I finally had the time to read the whole book (No, it is not a long book. In fact, it’s quite short. I simply didn’t have the time. Sound familiar?). I laughed out loud when I read Chapter 7 "Food for Thought: Yes, my daughter would like a Happy Meal. Please hold the meal and she’ll be happy.”

The authors of Shut Up, Gina Gallagher and Patricia Konjoian, point out that sometimes it’s the medication that causes a lack of appetite in our children.

“One of the side effects of Katie’s medication is that it lessens her appetite, particularly during lunch time. This posed a problem when it came to packing her lunch every day. Each morning, I would send a nutritious lunch that represented all the four main food groups, and each afternoon it would return untouched. My husband and I were sickened by the amount of food she was wasting. (Do you know how many children in Africa would die for that Fruit Roll-up?)"

To read more from these lighthearted mothers who deal with heavyhearted issues, visit their web site: www.shutupaboutyourperfectkid.com. If you like what read, you can buy the book directly from them.

Or go to Amazon.com www.amazon.com.

Posted by Elizabeth at 11:48 AM in Humor | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Have you seen this new book filled with fun anecdotes, one-liners and comforting words for mothers of challenging children? Authors Gina Gallagher and Patricia Konjoian remind me to keep my sense of humor even when my day turns into a collection of one act plays in the Theatre of the Absurd.

Check out their website: www.shutupaboutyourperfectkid.com

Elizabeth

Posted by Elizabeth at 8:20 AM in Humor | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)