Resources
PUSHING
YOUR BUTTONS
DISCOVERING
BELIEFS THAT AFFECT OUR BEHAVIOR AS PARENTS
YOUR
CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCES AND HOW THEY AFFECT YOUR PARENTING
CAN
YOU CHANGE YOUR CHILD?
GENDER
PARENTING
THE DANCE OF
INTIMACY RESOURCES
RESOURCES FOR LETTING
GO
MOVEMENT &
LEARNING
YOUR
CHILD'S TEMPERAMENT
SELF-CARE & SUMMER
PLANNING
Resources
to Build Your Toolbox of Comfort
resources
for single parents
expectations resources
AUTISM RESOURCES
FRAGILE X SYNDROME
RESOURCES
GIFT GIVING RESOURCES
PARENT-TEACHER
CONFERENCES
SLEEP
FRIENDSHIP
VACATION & TRAVEL
SUMMER FUN
PROFESSIONAL RESOURCES
National
Washington State
King County, Washington
Kitsap County, Washington
NURTURING OURSELVES
MEDIA
GENERAL RESOURCES
STATISTICS
Do you have a resource or a professional you
wish to recommend? To better serve our readers around the
world, we are actively looking for additional specialists
and other sources of information. Please send your
suggestions to:
Elizabeth@awildride.net. Type “Resource” in the subject
line.
PUSHING
YOUR BUTTONS
Books
When Your Kids Push Your Buttons and What You
Can do About It
by Bonnie
Harris.
DISCOVERING BELIEFS THAT AFFECT OUR BEHAVIOR AS PARENTS
Books
Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By My Kids?
By
Drs. Jordan & Margaret Paul.
When Your Kids Push Your Buttons, And What You Can Do About
It By Bonnie Harris.
Parenting From the Inside Out, How a Deeper Understanding
Can Help You Raise Children Who Thrive
by Daniel J. Siegel, M.D., and Mary Hartzell, M. Ed.
(Above book is an e-book.)
Top
YOUR CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCES AND HOW THEY AFFECT YOUR
PARENTING
Books
Parenting from the Inside Out, How a Deeper
Self-Understanding Can Help You Raise Children Who Thrive,
by Daniel J. Siegel, M.D. and Mary Hartzell, M.Ed.
Emotionally Intelligent Parenting, How to Raise a
Self-Disciplined, Responsible, Socially Skilled Child,
by Maurice J. Elias, Ph.D., Steven E. Tobias, Psy.D., and
Brian S. Friedlander, Ph.D.
Top
CAN YOU
CHANGE YOUR CHILD?
Books
Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By My Kids? By
Drs. Jordan and Margaret Paul
Parenting from the Inside Out
by Daniel J. Siegel, MD and Mary Hartzell, M.Ed.
The Art of Possibility
by Rosamund and Benjamin Zander
Top
GENDER PARENTING RESOURCES
Check out this link from
Parenting Help -- a service from Boys Town. Here you
will find clear ideas on values you want your children to
learn and ways to model them.
This
is a good article on looking at gender differences in our
children.
Parenting Boys Vs. Girls: How Different Is It?
Here
are some questions to ask yourself as you clarify your
attitudes about sex roles in your family.
And don't miss
Parenting Boys and Girls on the University of Minnesota
website.
Top
THE DANCE OF
INTIMACY RESOURCES
On the
Website
Parenting-Advice.Net, Sarah Chana Radcliffe, M.Ed., C.
Psych. Assoc. wrote a great article titled
Parenting Challenging Children. She outlines parental
approaches and the value of teamwork when parenting is
difficult.
Survival Strategies For Parenting Your ADD Child
by George T. Lynn,
M.A., C.M.H.C, is an excellent book for parents
dealing with Obsessions, compulsions, depressions, explosive
behavior and rage. He has a great chapter on keeping your
relationship in tack in the face of parenting difficulties.
Extraordinary Relationships, A New Way of Thinking About
Human Interactions, by
Roberta M. Gilbert, M.D. is a must read if you are
looking for a blueprint to better relationships.
About.com offers an
excellent suggestion.
Why not
write a love letter expressing your love and gratitude to
him or her. This
link gives you an outline for how to go about it without
a lot of fuss.
Top
RESOURCES FOR LETTING GO
Authentic Happiness
Martin Seligman, PhD
is a professor from Penn State University who is the
brainchild of the
Authentic Happiness movement. You can visit his site
and take various on-line surveys to identify your strengths,
your level of happiness or life meaning. This is a great
self-awareness tool.
The Center for Nonviolent Communication.
This
site gives you a list of needs based on the work of Marshall
Rosenberg, PhD, who developed Nonviolent communication, A
Language of Compassion.
Mother Styles
A
book by Janet P. Penley and a wonderful resource that will
help you to understand your own parenting style. She draws
on the Myers-Briggs system of personality type and explains
the innate mindsets that make up 16 distinct mothering
approaches. Check out her
website
and take her quiz.
Want
to know more about how to parent from your innate
strengths? Have questions on getting started? Get a jump
start with support and a free session from Parent Coach,
Mary Scribner for the entire month of Jan. 2009. Send Mary
an
email.
Top
RESOURCES
FOR MOVEMENT & LEARNING
If you're interested in the science behind Brain Gym, read
Smart Moves: Why Learning is not all in Your Head,
by neurophysiologist and educator Carla Hannaford, Ph.D.
This book brings together how body movement, emotional
expression, nutrition, and the social and physical
environment influence learning.
Check out the American Academy
of Pediatrics website and read their recommendations on
children and TV viewing. They have some great tips on
managing TV time.
Parenting
Corner Q&A: TV time and your family.
Also check out our website for more
information on media and your
children.
Check out this website for educators,
ASCD (Association for
Supervision and Curriculum).
Read Chapter 4 Movement and Learning from Eric Jensen’s
book,
Teaching with the Brain in Mind.
Go to About.com and type
in
Brain Gym Exercises. You’ll find a brain gym
demonstration video, lesson plans for teachers, websites and
games for moving and learning.
Top
SELF-CARE &
SUMMER PLANNING
Web sites
Special Needs Camps lists camps for a number of special
needs including Aspergers, Asthma, Learning Disabilities,
Developmental Disabilities.
Children’s Hospital in Seattle prepared a booklet of
Summer Camps and Programs for Children with Special Health
Care Needs. You can download the booklet
here.
Finding a Camp for Your Child with Special Needs is an
excellent article on the
KidsHealth web site.
Camps for Moms!
If you can afford the luxury of a getaway camp for
yourself, check out these options on
Camp GetAway.
Also, a night at the local
Holiday Inn ain’t bad either!
Or spend the night with a girlfriend who doesn’t have
children or at least has a guest room!
Top
Resources to Build Your Toolbox of Comfort
Books:
Self-Nurture, Learning to Care For Yourself As Effectively
As You Care For Everyone Else,
by Alice D. Domar, Ph.D., and Henry Dreher
Shifting Gears: Access Your Best Brain
by Robin Rose
Tapes
and CD’s:
The
Domar Center for Mind/Body Health
Offers
guided relaxation and meditation tapes.
Biofeedback:
HeartMath
A biofeedback device to help transform stress.
Top
Resources for Single
Parents
Check out these on-line resources:
About.com: Single Parents
This site lists many resources,
including information on legal issues parenting plan
worksheets, in addition to an active forum and a newsletter.
Single Parents Network
This site offers a directory of
resources, a forum, articles and a live chat.
Top
ExpectationS RESOURCEs
Check out Terri Mauro’s
Parenting
Special Needs Blog and search expectations.
You’ll find stories and strategies on
all sorts of topics related to expectations.
Here’s an excellent article from
Family Resources
addressing the special needs of the adopted child who has
difficulty with bonding and attachment. Many other special
needs families can relate to the deep sadness and other
emotions that this issue raises. Search for “Your
Expectations about the Emotional needs of your child.”
Emotional Health is extremely important
when parenting a child with special needs. Go to
Emotional Intelligence
to find some helpful techniques to cope with negative
feelings.
Top
AutisM RESOURCES
Want to enhance the quality of life of
a person with autism?
Want to help maximize the potential of a person with autism?
Need practical tips and effective strategies for every day
living?
FAQautism, an outstanding resource on the Web, is
designed for parents of autistic children.
Created by Cathy Knoll, MA, MT-BC, a
board certified music therapist with over 30 years clinical
experience with children, teens, and adults diagnosed with
autism, and her husband Dwight Knoll, a technical wizard
and mentor to individuals with autism,
FAQAutism.com answers
questions from family members, teachers, therapists,
employers, medical professionals, residential staff, job
coaches, and others interested in the well-being of
individuals with autism.
The site’s best feature is their 5
MINUTE PODCAST. Click “Listen Now” to listen to a short
audio Podcast featuring concise, practical tips that can
make a lasting impact on the quality of life for autistic
children and their parents.
Top
Fragile X SyndromE
RESOURCES
According to the Web site for
Children's Hospital Boston: "Fragile X syndrome (FXS) is
a hereditary condition that can cause learning and
behavioral problems in both males and females. It is the
most common known cause of mental impairment."
The site goes on to say: "Those with
fragile X syndrome have certain physical, behavioral and
intellectual characteristics seen in both males and females.
Not everyone with fragile X syndrome will have all of the
mentioned characteristics."
I knew a little about the condition,
specifically that it is the most common cause of autism, but
I was further enlightened by a mother's Blog:
Fragile What!? The ongoing story of a blended family of 6
who happens to live with fragile x syndrome.
For more information on Fragile X
Syndrome, FXSMom lists other resources on the site
including:
Conquer Fragile X
The National
Fragile X Foundation
The Fragile X Research
Foundation
Top
Gift
Giving Resources
I love how Dr. Suess captured the
holiday in How the Grinch Stole Christmas. “And he
puzzled three hours, till his puzzler was sore. Then the
Grinch thought of something he hadn’t before! “Maybe
Christmas,” he thought “doesn’t come from a store. Maybe
Christmas perhaps means a little bit more!”
Here are a few resources to help give
more meaning to your gift giving.
On the Web:
Campaign for
a Commercial-free childhood
For inexpensive, creative and
co-friendly gift ideas go to
Newdream.org
Select toys that promote positive
play. Check out
TRUCE’s (Teachers Resisting Unhealthy Children’s
Entertainment) “Toy Action Guide.”
NYU Child Study Center
Top
Parent – Teacher
Conferences
On the Web:
National
Education Association: How to Make Parent-Teacher
Conferences Work for Your Child.
PTA:
Making Parent–Teacher Conferences Work for Your Child
About Our Kids: Parent-Teacher Conferences: Working as a
Team
Top
Sleep
On
the Web:
The National Sleep Foundation: Waking America to the
Importance of Sleep
The National Sleep
Foundation Sleep for Kids
U.S. Department of Health and Services National Institutes
of Health Star Sleeper for Kids: Sleep Well. Do Well.
(Features Garfield)
On
PyschCentral
If Your Child Has
Problems, It May Due to Lack of Sleep
University of Michigan Health System Your Child: Sleep
Problems
American Academy of Child and Adolescent
PsychiatryChildren’s Sleep Problems
Top
Books
Sleepless in America: Is Your Child Misbehaving...or Missing
Sleep? (Paperback)
by
Mary Sheedy Kurcinka
Description reprinted below from Amazon.com
Does your child:
-
Refuse to cooperate in the morning?
-
Get into trouble for not listening?
-
"Lose it" over seemingly insignificant
issues?
-
Seem to resist sleep?
An estimated 69 percent of American infants, children, and
teens are sleep deprived. Studies have shown that sleep
deficits can contribute to hyperactivity, distraction,
forgetfulness, learning problems, illness, accidents, and
disruptive behaviors. Often what our misbehaving kids really
need isn't more "consequences" or more medication but more
sleep.
Sleepless in America
offers weary and frustrated parents a helping hand and an
exciting new approach to managing challenging behaviors by
integrating research on stress, sleep, and temperament with
practical strategies and a five-step approach that enables
parents to help their "tired and wired" children get the
sleep they so desperately need.
Order now.
Books
recommended on
About.com: Pediatrics
Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems
By Richard Ferber, MD, Solve Your Child's
Sleep Problems is one of the most popular parenting books
that will help you get your child sleeping through the
night. Although often thought of as the 'cry it out'
approach, Dr. Ferber will teach you how to develop good
sleep patterns and teach your child to fall asleep on his
own and sleep through the night. Plus tips on solving other
sleep problems.
The
No-Cry Sleep Solution
Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through
the Night. This is a great book for parents who want an
alternative to the Ferber method.
Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Children
A step-by-step program for a good night's
sleep by a Pediatrician. Dr. Weissbluth will teach you how
to establish good sleep habits for your child to prevent
sleep problems from occurring. Includes a month-by-month
guide to normal sleep patterns, including naps, and how to
deal with common sleep problems.
American Academy of Pediatrics Guide to Your Child's Sleep :
Birth Through Adolescence
By the American Academy of Pediatrics Staff,
a comprehensive guide to your child's sleep, including how
much sleep your child needs, fixing problems sleeping
through the night, understanding fears, nightmares and sleep
terrors, the importance of bedtime routines and rituals and
how to solve common problems from infancy to adolescence.
Nighttime Parenting : How to Get Your Baby & Child to Sleep
By William Sears, MD, Nighttime Parenting was
written to help your whole family sleep better. Includes a
discussion of attachment parenting, the benefits of the
family bed, co-sleeping or sharing sleep, and how to get
your baby to sleep and stay asleep.
Sleep: The Brazelton Way
Sleep: The Brazelton Way covers everything a
parent needs to know about sleep, including the first great
"touchpoint" of helping the baby sleep through the night,
deciding whether to start with, and weaning a child from, a
"family bed," sleepwalking, nightmares, and, above all, how
to help children learn how to get themselves to sleep.
Top
Friendship
Web
site:
AboutOurKids.org
Friends and Friendships
by Robin F. Goodman, Ph.D. and
Anita Gurian, Ph.D.
“Most
parents recognize how important and how rewarding
friendships are in the lives of children. A blueprint of how
children make friends and what friendships are like at
different ages will enable parents to help children through
rough spots.” Site includes real-life stories.
Web
site:
About.com: Learning Disabilities
Top 6 Tips to Teach Social Skills and Help Them Make Friends
From
Ann Logsdon
“In the
middle of school IEP committee meetings, academics issues
are at the forefront. Whether or not social skills are
ultimately included in an
Individual Education Program,
there are some things that can be done to help children with
learning disabilities
build the valuable social relationships that are so
important to their self-esteem and sense of belonging. Try
these tips to teach your students what they really want to
learn - how to make friends.”
Web site:
Family Guide (U.S. Department of Health and Human
Services)
Helping
Children with ADHD Make Friends
“Having
ADHD does not mean children always have poor relationships
with their peers. Parents and caring adults often can help
children with ADHD to make friends.” This site offers ways
parents can help.
Books:
It's So Much Work to Be Your Friend: Helping the Child with
Learning Disabilities Find Social Success
by
Richard Lavoie (Author)
Note: I
found the book, with its pages upon pages of checklists, a
little daunting, but it’s still worth a read through. Just
don’t let the list of to-dos overwhelm you. ~ Elizabeth
From
Publisher’s Weekly: "Life without friends is a lonely and
barren existence," but that's a common fate for children who
fail to develop proper social skills, writes veteran special
education teacher Lavoie in his insightful guidebook to
helping children with learning disabilities overcome social
skill deficits. Eschewing sink-or-swim and carrot-and-stick
approaches, Lavoie stresses communication and patience for
parents looking to guide their children through the maze of
social interactions encountered daily, from arranging
successful play dates and navigating the hidden curriculum
of school, to language difficulties, social anxieties and
family issues. Lavoie, who has taught and worked in the
special education field for over 30 years, shows how to
detect learning disabilities, discusses their impact on a
child's social development and provides strategies (most
notably his "Social Skill Autopsy") for implementing
behavior change. Organized by the different types of social
skills-those commonly used at home, at school and in the
community-Lavoie's text is refreshingly free of jargon and
is suitable for both spot- and cover-to-cover reading.
Though aimed at parents of learning disabled children, this
comprehensive guide will be handy for any parent whose child
has trouble socializing at school or home.”
Top
Vacation
& Travel
Since I view myself as the Queen of
Traveling with Challenging Children, I thought it
appropriate to share a few of my favorite vacation and
travel websites:
About.com
offers several articles on travel. Terri Mauro writes on
“How to Reduce Child Turbulence on Plane Flights”.
The article suggests before flight
preparations such as “picking the right seat” and “bringing
stuff”. She also offers these tips:
-
Don't dump
all your little
emergency playthings and distracters when you
prepare your purse or pockets for a trip. You'll need
all tools at your disposal, at every moment.
-
Check with
the airline before you leave to make sure you have all
the ID required for every member of your party to board
without delay. Chances are you'll have to wait in enough
lines without that nuisance on top of it.
Terri
describes the essentials in your travel bag of tricks.
Visit
Bag of Tricks.
Also on
About.com is an entire section on
Travel with Kids.
where you will find ideas for family travel. Teresa
Plowright writes a particularly helpful article if you are
traveling with small children called
How to Survive Plane Rides With Small Kids.
Take it from
me, that traveling with a small challenging child on
a crowded plane is probably NOT a good idea. But if you
must, some of Teresa’s ideas may work for you.
NYU Child
Study Center also offers some traveling tips. Dr. Richard
Gallagher suggests that when parents are planning a trip
that may want to:
-
Consider the
child’s age
-
Involve the
child in the planning
-
Make frequent
stops
-
Have an
eating plan (especially important, I think, for
challenging children).
He offers
several other ideas. To read Dr. Gallagher’s piece
“Traveling with Children” go to
AboutOurKids.org.
Back at
About.com, there’s an excellent piece on
“Traveling with Medications – What you need to know.”
You will find this article on their site for Arthritis, but
the suggestions apply to anyone traveling with medication.
If you are planning a trip soon,
remember the words of Helen Hayes:
“When traveling with someone, take
large doses of patience and tolerance with your morning
coffee. “
You may also want to read the article
“Taking the kids: It’s mom’s vacation too” on CNN.com.
Don’t forget to read Mary Scribner’s
Strategies and to check Summer Planning on our Blog. ~
Elizabeth
Top
Summer Fun
MAGAZINES & OTHER PUBLICATIONS
There are parenting publications, local magazines and
newspapers devoted to families all over the country. In the
Seattle area there is Seattle’s Child, Parent Map, and
Family First. Each of these publications has a monthly
calendar of events that can help you plan activities and
outings for your family.
BOOKS
Lotions, Potions, and Slime; Mudpies; and
More and More Mudpies: 101 Alternatives to Television, by Nancy Blakey
These are great books to help eliminate summer boredom.
Check out Nancy’s website at
nancyblakey.com You can try
out some of her recipes for fun, order her books, and read
her wonderful articles on parenting.
ORGANIZATIONS
YMCA is a family-centered organization with a mission to
build strong kids, families, and communities. Local programs
may include childcare, family nights, support groups, day
and overnight camps, and more. Visit
YMCA.net to find
your local chapter.
Check out your local Parks and Recreation Departments
for classes and summer programs.
WEBSITES
NYU Child Study Center created
AboutOurKids.org,
a website with some great articles on mental health in
children and adolescents. Check out the article titled
"Summer Plans for Children with Attention Deficit
Disorders." Though written about children with ADD, it has
some great advice for selecting summer camps for all
children with challenges.
Today's Mama, headquartered in Salt Lake City, is a website
dedicated to the 21st century mama. Founders Rachael
Herrscher and Stephanie Peterson, are also the founders of
The Mama's handbooks, resource guides for mothers and
families on activities and hot spots in your area. The Utah
Mama's Handbook launched in October 2004, quickly grew to a
best seller within months. Other handbooks available are
D.C., Houston, Nevada, San Diego, Santa Cruz, Seattle, and
Spokane. Visit todaysmama.com for more great
information.
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NURTURING OURSELVES
When it comes to resources for self-care, no one is better
informed than A Wild Ride co-author Mary
Scribner. Here are some of her suggestions:
BOOKS
Self-Nurture, Learning to Care for Yourself As
Effectively As You Care for Everyone Else by Alice
Dl Domar, PH.D. and Henry Dreher
Domar’s book “is a yearlong stress manager for women. It
offers specific guidance for handling the stresses that
plague you,” offering exercise and methods that give you
greater awareness and self-care from one season to the next.
She “offers this book as a balm for today’s overextended,
underappreciated, self-esteem-challenged women.” Sign me
up!!
The Joy Diet, 10 Daily Practices for a Happier Life
by Martha Beck.
Martha Beck is a life coach who writes a monthly column for
O. The Oprah Magazine. She wrote a wonderful
memoir detailing the tender story of life with her son who
has Downs Syndrome in Expecting Adam. I expect no less than
deep wisdom and solid humor from Beck as she helps the
reader to navigate life’s emergencies.
The World According to Mister Rogers, Important Things
to Remember by Fred Rogers.
One of my all time heros. Fred Rogers brought solid consistency and
predictability to my chaotic world. He lived and spoke of
the values and wisdom of friendship, respect, honesty, and
more. Reading this little book helps me to reconnect with
what’s really important in my life and redirects my anxiety
to once again feeling grounded and secure. Try it!
Nonviolent Communication, A
Language of Compassion by Marshall B. Rosenberg,
Ph.D.
This book will improve the quality of your personal and
professional relationships. Marshall will give you
tools to use for yourself and/or with others. He reminds us
of compassion and empathy and helps us to reconnect us to
our inner wisdom. The tools of observation, feeling,
needs, and requests are very effective.
A Short Guide to a Happy Life by Anna Quindlin
This is truly a short book about slowing down, living deeply
every day from our own unique selves.
Top
Websites
www.robinrose.com
Robin puts out a StayWell newsletter. She has
some great ideas on dealing with everyday stress.
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MEDIA
The American Academy of Pediatrics
www.aap.org/healthtopics/mediause.cfm The AAP has been
very active in publishing research on the effects of media.
Go to their website for information on the media’s impact on
children, ideas on establishing guidelines for media use,
rating systems, and general education on media.
Entertainment Software Rating Board
www.esrb.org/index-js.jsp The board rates
age-based categories and overall content of video and
computer games. This is a non-profit, self-regulatory arm of
the Entertainment Software Industry, so you’ll still need to
do more homework than just take their word for it.
The Center for Media Literacy
www.medialit.org The
Center designs and supports media literacy implementation by
helping youth develop critical thinking skills and
understand messages imbedded in our media. You’ll find tools
on how to help your children feel empowered over these
messages.
Turn Off Your TV Week
www.tvturnoff.org This non-profit group encourages and
inspires families to turn off their TV and turn on life.
They work to educate families about the negative impact of
excessive TV watching. This year’s "Turn Off Your TV Week"
is April 23rd-29th. This site has fact sheets, information,
kits, and strategies to help you turn off the TV.
Commercial Free Childhood
www.commercialexploitation.org This national coalition
of concerned professionals and parents work to counter the
harmful effects of marketing to children. This site informs
readers of various corporate marketing ploys aimed at our
children.
Top
Books and Magazines
Parenting Well in a Media Age, Keeping Our Kids Human by
Gloria DeGaetano. This author articulates the challenges of
parenting in an “industry-generated culture” and how to
remedy this by reflecting and acting on a family’s
“essential” needs. She suggests and offers tools to reclaim
your parenting identity and to move toward a
personally-generated culture.
Endangered Minds by Jane Healy.
Screen Smarts: A Family Guide to Media Literacy by
Gloria DeGaetano and Kathleen Bander.
“Adbusters: Journal of the mental Environment” published
by The Media Foundation in Vancouver, B.C. Read this
provocative, fun magazine about our
advertising/image-deluged culture.
Top
Professional Resources
NATIONAL
Center for
Children and Families is our new clinic that offers
assessment and treatment for children birth to age eight.
Our interdisciplinary staff includes experts in psychology,
developmental pediatrics, clinical social work, child
development, occupational therapy, speech-language, and
early childhood mental health.
Parent Coaching:
Some days I just long to have a
conversation with someone who “gets it”.
Someone who could help me sift through
all of the unique and complex factors that affect my child.
A guide, a collaborator, someone who would help me make
sense of it all. An advocate who could help me put life in
perspective as I (once again) highlight 20 recommendations
in the latest best seller on having a more resilient,
cooperative child in 30 days. I need a cheering squad who
champions my cause and strengthens my resolve to continue
supporting my child to develop his capacity. I need this for
myself and wish to offer this kind of support to others. -
Mary
Website
Appreciative
Living: Jackie
Kelm is a mom, author, and consultant whose web site
offers tools and inspiration based on the concepts of
Appreciative Inquiry, a positive approach to change. Check
out her site at:
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WASHINGTON STATE
The Fathers Network provides current information and
resources to assist all families and care providers involved
in the lives of children with special needs. This
information is up-to-date, helpful, and designed to promote
the resilience of all family members. We have award winning
monographs, videos, newsletters, and curriculum available
upon request. Visit our Links about Families, Fathers,
Disabilities, Health Care, and Legal Issues. Learn about the
remarkable work of the Washington State Fathers Network, and
our fifteen statewide programs which provide powerful,
positive support and fellowship.
Top
KING
COUNTY, WASHINGTON
Developmentalweb.com is a comprehensive listing of
Seattle and King County special education and developmental
resources for parents with children who have delays in
development or learning disabilities. It lists tons of
resources for speech and language therapy, PT/OTs, sensory
integration, schools, private practitioners and support
groups and listservs. Check out the website for more
information:
www.developmentalweb.com/
Top
KITSAP COUNTY, WASHINGTON
Catherine Whiting, a pediatric occupational
therapist for over 24 years, works on Bainbridge Island,
Washington. She defines pediatric occupational therapy as a
medical profession which uses therapeutic purposeful
activities to help children function better physically,
emotionally, academically, and socially in their daily
activities. Services may include:
- Conducting an assessment to
determine strength/needs,
- Collaborating with teachers,
families, and community team members on environmental and
material adaptations,
- Developing strategies to enhance
performance, and
- Providing individualized client
interventions.
As an occupational therapist, Catherine takes a holistic
view of the child and uses an extensive variety of
strategies to meet a child’s individual’s needs. Check out
her website for more information:
www.CatherineWhiting.com .
Dr. Rutberg-Self is a licensed psychologist
who works with children, adolescents, and young adults. Her
services include assessment and evaluation of learning
disorders and behavioral problems, counseling, and school
consultation. Her website explains her services, resources
on learning disabilities, support groups, and parenting
articles from the University of Washington Parenting Clinic.
Check it out.
www.islandedpsy.com
Top
GENERAL RESOURCES
BOOKS
When it comes to nighttime reading, I prefer mystery
books to self-help, but I have been known to flip through
parenting books in order to find answers and information
about my son’s many challenges. Some of the books I read are
recommended by other moms, some by doctors and therapists.
Generally, these books offer a useful suggestion or two but
I often feel overwhelmed when the suggestions go on for
chapters without acknowledging that a mother could only
implement a small percentage of the recommendations.
Especially if she has other children to take care of, a job,
a home, a marriage – a life! Here we present a few of my
favorite resources. These are books, magazines, and websites
that offered me more than one “aha” moments as I read the
material. Come back to this site often. We’ll provide the
favorites of other mothers and reviews of the latest books
and information related to parenting challenging children.
-- Elizabeth
Tess recommends:
Creating Capacity for Attachment:
Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy in the Treatment of
Trauma-Attachment Disorders (Paperback)
by
Deborah Shell,
Art Becker-Weidman
A comprehensive book about Dyadic
Developmental Psychotherapy--a gentle, holistic, therapeutic
approach designed to resolve trauma in children who have
experienced abuse, neglect, loss, or other extreme
challenges to primary relationships. From Amazon.com
Dr. Mel Levine’s A Mind at a Time. Loaded with
reasons why a child has difficulty learning. Dr. Levine, founder
of All Kinds of Minds Institute, describes the plight of even the
average child who is “expected to shine in math, reading, writing,
speaking, spelling, memorization, comprehension, problem solving,
socialization, athletics, and following verbal directions.”
At times, I found this book almost “textbook” in its format. The
first two chapters lay the foundation for understanding Dr. Levine’s
thesis: “Many children struggle because their learning patterns don’t
fit the schools they are in.” To explain why our children find learning
so difficult, Dr. Levine describes the Eight Neurodevelopmental
Profiles. The name intimidated me but after reading his explanations, I
understood the basic ideas behind each profile and moved on to my
favorite part of each chapter: the Practical Considerations. These dot
points offered insightful suggestions for both parents and teachers as
they support a child in school. Don’t let the sheer number of
considerations overwhelm you. Pick one (or maybe two) to try. I have
come to believe that Dr. Levine understands our children so well that he
provides pages and pages of Practical Considerations, not because he
expects us to attempt each one, but rather to offer us as many
opportunities to succeed as there are options to consider.
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MAGAZINES
Brain, Child. This self-proclaimed magazine for
“thinking mothers” turns ordinary mothering issues into literary
marvels. Printed quarterly, Brain, Child is not a typical
parenting magazine; rather it offers essays, features, humor, reviews,
art, cartoons, and readers’ own stories, leaving recipes and parenting
tips to the more traditional parenting publications. Funny, poignant,
always thought-provoking, recent articles include a debate on child-free
public spaces, a feature on the subject of mean teenage girls, and a
discussion on falling birthrates. The final piece, called “Motherwit,”
is always good for a bit of comic relief. For more information, visit their website at Brain, Child Magazine.
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WEBSITES
www.yesyourteeniscrazy.com/. Mary Scribner, one of my co-authors,
recommends this particular website by Dr. Mike Bradley, author of
Yes, Your Teen is Crazy and Yes, Your Parents are Crazy
because of the parenting forums it offers. Dr. Bradley is a licensed
psychologist who specializes in adolescent behavior. Appearing on The
Today Show, CNN News Tonight, Pure Oxygen, and National Public Radio,
Dr. Bradley shares his views on successfully raising a teenager who by
simple definition is more often than not a challenging child. The topics
in the parent forums or chat rooms include teen rage, drugs and alcohol,
single parenting, and praising your teen. As a parent of an adopted
child whose first year of life was “horrific” and who struggled within
her new family situation during her second year, Dr. Bradley is ranked
among the experts who understand the challenging child from the outside
in.
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STATISTICS
Knowing that I am not the only parent of a challenging child is often
as comforting as knowing my son’s issues are not all my fault.
Statistics sometimes offer me this perspective and generally, they
provide an opportunity to understand my son better. I present the
information below merely as reassurance that you are in good company! --
Elizabeth
The Federal Interagency Forum on Child and Family Statistics
http://www.childstats.gov/americaschildren/
According to results of a parent survey included in America’s Children: Key National Indicators of Well-Being 2005, written by the Federal Interagency Forum on Child and Family Statistics, five percent of children 4 to 17 years olds (an estimated
3.65 million children) were reported by a parent “to suffer from definite or severe emotional or behavioral difficulties, problems that may interfere with their family life, their ability to learn, and their formation of friendships. These difficulties may persist throughout a child’s development and lead to lifelong disability, including more serious illness, or difficult to treat illness, and co-occurring mental illnesses.”
American Psychiatric Association
http://healthyminds.org/adhdfacts.cfm
“Nearly eight million children in the US suffer from mental
disorders, and attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is one of
the more prevalent. In fact, it is the most commonly diagnosed mental
health condition in American children today. According to the Surgeon
General’s Report on Mental Health, ADHD afflicts between 3% and 5% of
school-age children in any six-month period.” American Psychiatric
Association
http://www.healthyminds.org/multimedia/
commonchildhooddisorders.pdf
“As many as one in ten children between ages six and twelve
experience persistent feelings of sadness – the hallmark of depression.”
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Medical Journal of Australia
http://www.mja.com.au/public/mentalhealth/
articles/tonge/tonge.html
“Worldwide, the prevalence of clinically significant psychiatric
disorder in children is at least 7%. This rate rises in socially
disadvantaged and densely populated urban areas. It also increases by
3%-4% after puberty. Childhood psychopathology presents as:
- Disturbed
or antisocial behaviour (externalising disorders) -- prevalence 3%-5%
- Troubled emotions and feelings (internalising disorders) -- prevalence
2%-5%
- A mixture of psychological problems and physical illness
(somatoform disorders) -- prevalence 1%-3%
- More rarely as childhood
psychosis or pervasive developmental (autism spectrum) disorders --
prevalence about 0.1%.
Boys are two or three times more likely than
girls to be affected by disturbed and antisocial behaviour. The ratio is
more equal for emotional disturbances. There are more girls than boys
affected by depression and anorexia nervosa. Children with intellectual
disability and those with chronic physical illness that involves the
brain have a significantly increased risk of developing a range of
emotional and behavioural problems.”
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National Institute of Mental Health
http://www.nimh.nih.gov/publicat/bipolarupdate.cfm
“Findings from an NIMH-supported study suggest that the illness
[bipolar disorder] may be at least as common among youth as among
adults. In this study, one percent of adolescents ages 14 to 18 were
found to have met criteria for bipolar disorder or cyclothymia, a
similar but milder illness, in their lifetime. In addition, close to six
percent of adolescents in the study had experienced a distinct period of
abnormally and persistently elevated, expansive, or irritable mood even
though they never met full criteria for bipolar disorder or cyclothymia.
Compared to adolescents with a history of major depressive disorder and
to a never-mentally-ill group, both the teens with bipolar disorder and
those with subclinical symptoms had greater functional impairment and
higher rates of co-occurring illnesses (especially anxiety and
disruptive behavior disorders), suicide attempts, and mental health
services utilization. The study highlights the need for improved
recognition, treatment, and prevention of even the milder and
subclinical cases of bipolar disorder in adolescence.”
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